Tobii Tip: USB Ports

The snazzy Tobii Dynavox I + Series  speech generating devices (SGD) come equipped with 1 USB 3.0 port and 2 USB 2.0 ports for a total of 3 USB ports (my older model comes with these same ports). Yee-Haw!

Wait a  minute, Sir Kipling, why are you so excited about this? It means nothing to me.

Okay, okay, let me explain. The presence of these ports means you can attach an external device to your Tobii. Cool! You can download photos from your camera, phone, tablet, or video camera – and much, much more.

Upset that your Tobii device doesn’t come with a CD/DVD player? No problem. Go to Amazon and purchase an external player (cost around $25 for a good one) and play your favorite movies (or porn, you Sickos!) till your eyes bleed.

Staying up at night wondering how in the Hell you are gonna place your extensive iTunes library (mine is 110 gigs) on a 120 gig hard drive and still have space leftover? Simply go to that magical website, Amazon.com, and purchase an external hard drive (a 1 Terabyte hard drive costs around 60 bucks; 1 TB = 1000 GB or gigs). Whew! Now that’s a lot of memory. You can keep your music, movies, and those freak-nasty, skin-slapping nudie flicks that you’ve been hiding from your spouse (Ya Prevert!) stored on these hard drives. Better yet, you can hook up the drive via a USB connection to your Tobii and listen or watch it on your SGD without having your files take up valuable memory on your Tobii.

Until next time, Happy Tobiing!

Copyright © 2016 Kipling A. Jackson

Bad, Bad, Bad

Sorry, folks. After reading what I thought would be the final version of my story, I cannot bring myself to publish it. I’ve always joked about my writings being my own contribution to bad American literature. But, this story is terrible and, as a result, I have condemned it to my literature Purgatory – a vast wasteland filled with past ideas and writings wondering about awaiting their fate.  Will they be resurrected and given a new life, or will they be tossed into the fiery depths of my memory to be obliterated from existence? Only time will tell.

Alas, I cannot, in good conscience, take your three bucks for what I have marked as an inferior product unfit for public consumption. The good news is that Kroger has a sale on cottage cheese this week. You guessed it, a 16-ounce container is going for just a little under three dollars – much more fulfilling instead of settling for my cheese.

Copyright © 2016 Kipling A. Jackson

 

 

A Word on Trachs and Ventilation

I still remember when I came out of my tracheostomy surgery, my neurologist was standing at the foot of my bed looking down at me with disapproving eyes. The good doctor was against the trach from the start saying that my quality of life would plummet.

At the time, I was doing as much as 18 hours of chest percussion, cough assist, and suction to get rid of secretions in my chest. You see, I have bad allergies accompanied by a nasty post-nasal drip – the mucus would drip down my throat and end up in my lungs. This troublesome process of removing the secretions was extremely exhausting. It’s no fun when you constantly deal with the sensation of drowning. This was not the way I wanted to live. So, I pondered the question: how is getting trached going to deteriorate my quality of life further?

Yeah, I was terrified of the surgery. On top of this, my lungs didn’t function at all (I had been fully vented for the previous six months).

The surgery gave me instant relief – the new hole in my throat allowed my caregivers to bypass the mouth and go straight into my lungs; it now took seconds to clear secretions.

Getting trached was the best decision I have ever made; my quality of life improved drastically and I’ve never slept better.

If my life with ALS is better being trached then why was my neurologist against it? Furthermore, I’ve heard that mine isn’t an isolated experience as far as receiving misinformed advice from neurologists is concerned (i.e. “you’ll be attached to a machine for the rest of your life”, or “it will only add, at best, a couple of years to your life”). Which begs the question: should they be giving advice about the tracheostomy and ventilation techniques to their ALS patients in the first place? Now, taking into account the obvious fact that their specialty lies within the physiological realm of the brain and not the pulmonary system, the answer is an emphatic Hell no! You wouldn’t go to a McDonald’s for an oil change, would you? It’s the same premise here.

Dear Neurologists:

I have the utmost respect for you and I know that one day you will find a cure for this disease. But, until then, when your ALS patient inquires about artificial ventilation possibilities, instead of passing on your opinions beyond the scope of your expertise, please refer them to professionals who specialize in the pulmonary system such as a pulmonologist,  an ENT doctor, or a respiratory therapist.

And for the ALS patient, if you are interested in getting trached and ventilation, I implore you to get advice from these afore mentioned professionals who specialize in the pulmonary field or ask one of us who actually lives with a trach and is ventilated before making a final decision.

For more on this topic, check out the PowerPoint presentation on my “Videos” page.

Copyright © 2016 Kipling A. Jackson